News

Puked on Your Shoes
At the last CJ's show with Letti, mr. Pressman puked on the drummer from Letti's shoes. He denied it at the time, but later he admitted that he puked all over the place including on the drummer's shoes. He said that he had to deny it because the bartenders would have stopped feeding him buckets of IceHouse and jager. He later found himself facedown on the floor, and immediately puked on the chick that Harrison was sleeping with. Puking insued consistently over the course of the next day, in a number of public locations, sometimes out of necessity, but as the day wore on mainly just for amusement. Locations scarred by the event included a perkins' booth, perkins parking lot (distance competition), twice on i-4, numerous bathroom floors, showers, and upper level toilet tanks (for humerous effect), and finally on a homeless person who had asked for change outside of walgreens.

11/8/04 the Liquid Cellar

The Liquid Cellar next to UCF has become the latest edition to our ever growing shit list. Any self respecting individuals should be aware that the Liquid Cellar has booked 4 performances, and cancelled them all less than a week before each date. Vino, the manager, is really one asshole that deserves to be curb-jobbed and fisted by a six-foot tall shemale in front of his own establishment. We may fuck shit up, but we keep our word.

Upon hearing the news of this latest cancellation Harrison said "Fuck you Vino"

Boycott the Liquid Cellar (the place blows anyway)

Band Members encounter Orlando Police again

Band members, the Squid and Kat and friends were harassed by Orlando bike police officers, this past Saturday night. A handle of Captain Morgans, a handful of single shot liquor, a flask, and a handle of Jack Daniels were all confiscated by Orlando Police Officers, who were later seen swerving around downtown Orlando, and talking shit. A public service announcement, the police department of Orange County will search you for drinking a sprite in your parked car.

10/10/04 Good Riddance to Good Times

On a recent drive through downtown Sarasota on a reconaissance mission in preparation for a heathy dose of vandalism to Good times bar and grill and Franko himself, we find the place has been boarded up. Since Franko probably drank his profits this seems unsurprising. At the same time we must offer our regrets as we would at the passing of any establishment that serves fine beer. It is however, very disappointing for those of us that would have wanted to see a more dramatic downfall of Franko, preferably involving mace, urine and Franko's tears. Franko, you were never funny, you were just a sad alcoholic man with a chance to have a great pub. Now you're an unfunny loser alcoholic without a job.

Lead Singer Mr. Harrison Kaiser arrested for Larceny.

the Addictions want to first apoligise for their last show on April 16th Friday at "Common Grounds" which they did not perform on. Harrison was booked for committing Larceny at a local store in Orlando around the time of 6:00 - 7:00p.m. Not knowing where the lead singer of the band was, band mates were quickly confused and brain battered on what might of happend and why they could not get in touch with their former band mate. Around the time of 2:30 a.m a phone from a friend in Sarasota got the message from Seminole County Correctional Facility. Mr. Kaiser was later bailed out the next day after spending the night with a man who Harrison recalls the name "Hammer" who was short and had a long curly fluffy mullet, booked of coarse from beating his wife. The bail was made by very pissed off band mate Kathryn Kofler of  $193. We soon hope for our fans to hear an apology from Mr. Kaiser and the Addictions are looking forward to bringing you a damn good next show.

03/22/04 "The Most Irresponsible Bar Manager Ever" award to be presented to Franko?

We all recognize that bar managers and owners have a right to sell drinks, book bands, run their buisness as they see fit, but In our experience with Franko of Good Times in Sarasota, has taken our view of bar managers to a new level. And because of this night, we give the award for "Most Irresponsible Bar Manager Ever" to Franko (Owner/ Manager of Good Times Bar and Grill, In Saratosta. Our experience with Franko left us in a state of disbelief that the authorities did not haul the local bar proprietor off to jail and beat him senseless with a broom stick. Franko was so irresponsibly shit faced and tripping on mushrooms after the Addictions set, that he started a fight in his own bar! Not only did he assault a customer over an apparently questionable ID, he started an all out brawl by assaulting his own friends and regular customers. In an incoherent rage of slurringg profanity and halucinations Franko threw all of his customers out, and refused to pay any of the bands. the Squid was quoted as saying, "Things were going pretty good... lots of laughs, lots of drinking, and on top of that, we we're playing! And it was good, it was damn good. But Fuck FRANKO"

The next time you are on Main Street in Sarasota, give Franko a "fuck you" for the Addictions and Falopian Tuba.

As for Franko, we wish you the best, and with any luck we will see to it that you are arrested and anally sand-fisted every day for the next year in a minimum security prision. You're a real piece of shit.

9/16/03 Drummer sustains near fatal injury to snare arm, band could be finished.

the Drummer of the Addictions sustained a gash to his arm on saturday night after a skirmish with a fellow party goer.  The fight broke out after the party goer tryed to say that "Thrice is a band that shouldn't make your ears bleed".  The Drummer began to throw punches using the notorious 'Drunken Irish Sailor' technique.  And the wasted party goer fell forward on the Drummer after a three hundren pound bouncer pushed him into the bathroom in an effort to isolate the fighters.  The weight of the bouncer caused the Drummer to fall into the bathtub and the drummers force broke through the tile in the bathroom and inflicted near fatal slash wounds to the Drummers right forearm.  The wound should have required stiches but the Drummer was not taken to the hospital for fear of the reprecussion associated with underaged drinking.  Instead the Drummers wounds were attended to by the Keyboardist at the local Super-store.  The Single Can't Wait was recorded the next morning at the New College Electronic Music Studio.  A fellow band member released a statement saying that the wound looked like "a vagina" two days after the incident.